Sunrise
by loveSlade4ever
Summary: Based at the end of Spellbound. Beast Boy is hurt by Raven's reaction. I suck at summeries.


I walked to Raven's door, rehearsing what I was going to say to her in my head.

"Raven, it's me," I said as I knocked on the door. I heard her footsteps growing closer to the door, then stop.

"Look, I'm sorry," I began.

"For what? You're not the one who-"

I cut Raven off. "No. I'm sorry that he broke your heart." And I never would have done the same, I added mentally.

"I know it was all a lie," she said, "but he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not."

"Okay. Fine. You're waaaaayyyyy creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Raven walked put of her room and wrapped her arms around me. After a few seconds, I relaxed into the hug, and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. I breathed in deeply, inhaling her lavender scent.

It was then when I noticed she was crying. I pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Raven, what's wrong?"

"It's just so hard to think that the only person to think that I wasn't creepy was a fake. A liar. That he never really cared about me the way he said he did, and that nobody will ever care about me-"

I cut her off again. "Raven, I care about you. And so do the rest of the Titans."

"But not like Malchior did, or so I thought. And none of you will feel the same way about me as he said he did. He…he…he said he loved me." Her eyes glazed over with tears, and I watched her struggle to stay in control. "But now I know that's a lie."

She walked to her room and was halfway through the door when I grabbed her hand.

"Raven, I…I…" I had to decide what to say next, and I had to decide fast.

"What is it, Beast Boy?"

I noticed I was still holding her hand. Reality seemed to set in with her as well, as she turned a vivid shade of pink.

She broke the awkwardness. "Beast Boy, why did you spy on me?"

I though about it for a minute.

"I spied on you because I care about you, and I have for a very long time. I took the responsibility to make sure you didn't get hurt. But I guess I didn't do my job."

She looked into my eyes, and squeezed my hand. "Nobody could have prevented that, because nobody could have known. Don't blame yourself."

She pulled me into a hug and bid me goodnight.

I walked to my room slowly, thinking about what I was going to do now.

~The next morning~

I woke up around 5 o'clock a.m., knowing Raven would be up to do some meditating around 6. I fixed myself a quick tofu breakfast, and then started to make Raven's herbal tea. I hummed as the water boiled and finished just as Raven walked into the room.

"Does it taste alright?" I asked as she sipped the tea.

Raven grinned widely, and stated, "Perfect."

"Rae," she glanced at me, "Would you mind if I meditated with you today?"

A small smile crept over her face. "No, I wouldn't mind at all."

We made our way up to the rooftop, and then sat in the lotus position, facing the sunrise.

I noticed how beautiful Raven's hair looked with the sun shining on it, and caught myself staring at her.

Raven caught me, too, and asked me, "What are you doing?"

I felt the color rise in my cheeks. "I…uh…ummm…"

"It's ok. Now, just breathe deeply, and repeat after me. Azarath, metrion, zinthos."

She started her slow mantra, and after a few seconds, I joined in.

We meditated for about an hour. Silently, she stood up, and grabbed my hand, pulling me to a standing position.

"Thank you."

"It was no big deal."

This regimen continued, day after day. I woke up at 5, made myself breakfast, made her tea, and then we meditated. It seemed to have an affect on Raven, but it varied on whether it was good or bad. One day, she could be seen smiling and humming tunes under her breath, but the next day she seemed out of tune with life and would hide in her room, not even coming out to eat. These days I would take her food into her room for her, and I would catch her crying. I would ask what was wrong, but she refused to tell.

After about a month of this cycle, the answer became clear.

One day, after a long relaxing meditating session, I stood up and smiled, and pulled her into a tight embrace. She tensed, and I thought she was going to pull away, but she didn't.

After about a minute or so, I pulled away and looked at her. There were tears brimming on her eyes, threatening to spill.

"What's wrong?"

"This." She gestured to my arms, which were wrapped around her waist.

I pulled away, hurt. "I'm sorry."

She must have heard the sadness in my tone, and grabbed my hand before I could walk away. "It's not your fault. It's mine."

Overcome with anger, I said, "Why can't we be together?"

"Because, if I were to lose control, I could k- hurt you. I don't want to take that risk."

"What if I don't care?"

"But I do. There's no way I could live with myself if I hurt you."

"Any amount of physical pain can't be worse than this." I pulled my hand out of her grasp and walked away.

I didn't know where I was going, all I knew was that I had to vent. I found myself going to the gym, and started pounding away at the bag that hung from the ceiling.

Star walked into the gym, and asked, "Beast Boy, where is friend Raven?"

At the mention of her name, I completely broke down. Tears poured from my eyes, and my whole body shook with grief.

Star looked alarmed, and she called for Robin. Robin rushed in, and helped me to a chair.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. One minute she wants to meditate with me and hug me, then next she is telling me it's wrong. She doesn't get how I don't care if I get hurt. I love her, but she doesn't seem to care. She doesn't care that this is hurting me worse than any amount of physical pain that she could give." I noticed Raven standing behind Robin.

"Beast Boy…" she faltered as she saw the look on my face.

"What? Here to tell me…" I fell silent as she threw her arms around me.

"Come on guys, let's go." Robin and the others left the room, leaving me and Raven alone.

"I'm sorry." Her eyes were red, and glazed over with tears. "I just don't like seeing the people I love get hurt, especially when it's my fault. I want to be with you, but I don't want to hurt you. Even a hug could be disastrous. "

"Well, I'm willing to take the risk."

I looked her in the eyes, and realized she was leaning towards me. I quickly closed the gap between us and pressed my lips to hers. I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, but I doubted she would let me. Surprisingly, she opened her mouth, and I slipped my tongue inside, running it over the insides of her cheeks and the roof of her mouth. The punching bag that had been hanging from the ceiling was surrounded by a black energy and ripped from the ceiling, but Suddenly the alarm blared, and I pulled away. Raven had an out-of-breath look on her face, but she smiled when she caught me looking at her. "We'll finish later." She ran out of the room, toward the ops center.

I ran after her, smiling.


End file.
